Yep, I named my mean inner bully....

And as for what that has to do with my I AM living my I AM Project...The answer is...I AM facing the inner demons, getting real, getting raw and owning it all---> even the "ugly" parts of me. Whew!

My world looked like this today --->Searching and thinking...writing and erasing...typing and backspacing....juggling all the ideas of where my life is headed, tossing most of them into the "come back to revise another day" pile or into the mental trash can and almost feeling like I'm coming up empty.  (*And worried that I don't want to spew garbage from my fingertips here on the blog before your lovely eyes!) ;)  But, alas I know that's not true, I'm not empty.  I have just finally realized that somewhere deep down inside I am indeed my own worst critic, as I have been swearing to myself in my head all day.  That mean inner bully, oh boy do I have one of those! And it's not fun living with her at all....She is not Me, and I still don't understand how she got in there, inside of me....as it is the exact opposite of me and my heart and how I treat others.  I only wish I could treat myself half as kindly.    

I have named her...my mean inner bully that is making me want to crawl out of my skin today....She's REALLY LOUD today.  Her name is Igora, and she is not pleased to meet you.  She is not even pleased to meet herself, that's why she apparently feels the need to take her frustrations out on me.  She's the one who's trying to shout so loudly to me that in her eyes I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough...that I've failed more times than I've "succeeded", that my ideas and dreams and goals and projects are worthless...blah, blah, blabbidy blah....I'm sure we all know the deal and how this all goes spiraling down into the abyss.  All I know is that she SUCKS! 

I know we are all facing our own battles...and I don't want anyone to think I am throwing my own pity party here tonight, because I'm not.  I am just more fully beginning to realize that the more we share the fear and pain that we all inevitably feel inside at one time or another and share our own experiences, the more it helps to drive the demons away...we help not only ourselves, but each other! --->Sometimes, it helps to know that we are not all alone.

I am sure many of you out there also deal with your own inner bullies, and tonight I proclaim that it is time that we stand up to them, call them out by name and tell them to get the hell out of our minds...they do not get to rule us anymore!!!

 Goodnight and Goodbye Igora, *(at least for this evening)!

Sending love to all of you and learning to tell Igora to shut-up...and love myself!

♥ Hugs, 

JessicaLove